Let me just start off with this.

Hello YOOOUUUUUU!!!
I decided I should probably make a blog type thing since I do tend to write little tid-bits about my life and save them to Microsoft word all the time. I want to share them with you. So logically, here I am…
My name is Megan, and as of right now, I’m 19 years old and a Sophomore at UW-Madison. It’s really quite the place to be for a hardcore partier like myself. Actually, I’m not that big of a partier. Sometimes I do, of course, but I’m not one of those that passes out in random places in the city and vomits in public places and such. Those people are pretty entertaining though if you ask me, at the cost of their own integrity, of course. One night, one of these HOOLIGANS was running down a hill in Madison, and he couldn’t slow himself down… and PLOP! He took a digger right into some grass. Since it was grass, I burst into laughter.

I really like to write about nothing, so if you’re reading this (which I assume you are, because if you’re not reading this…MIND BLOW), just be prepared. I will write about nothing. Like right now. It’s actually something though. It’s just my thoughts as they spew out of my head. My brain generally moves in the middle of 14,000 and 16,000 different directions, sometimes at the same time. Thus the title of my magnificent blog. God, someone give me a fucking pat on the back because that takes GENIUS.
I also like using capital letters. They add a certain SOMETHING to certain words. I try not to over-use them though. They’re much like a simile for something that can’t be over-used and still be good. I’m shit at similes.

I’m trying to think what else I will do that I should tell you about in advance, but that usually ruins the surprise. If I warn you about things I will do in advance, then there’s nothing to look forward to. It’s like if you were walking down a path, and I jumped out from behind a tree and screamed at you, and you threw a solid object at me. If I told you beforehand, you wouldn’t throw something at me and it wouldn’t be as great. Or maybe you would still throw something at me even if you knew beforehand. I know I would.

For the first blog I write though, rather than focusing on myself as I am so tempted to do, I’d like to make a few assumptions about you. I’m guessing I either know you, or I don’t know you. Those are the only two options, really. Of course, there are those of you that I have had random little conversations with, or have talked to for lengthy periods of time, but I still don’t know you. I don’t know why that is. It’s border-line sad thinking about all the people I will never know, never talk to, and never meet… another reason I’m doing this. I’ll feel a bit more connected to you this way. Whoever you are.
You also are probably pretty bored right now for some reason. I have no issue being your diversion, because this is a diversion for me right now too. So we’re both bored. Oh life, you are such a dick sometimes, being a shitface... I’ll try my best to entertain you for a while (probably unsuccessfully…), but don’t forget that there are airplanes traveling to every corner of the earth, and your boredom is probably just a lack of initiative and motivation to do things. Sorry to get all “advicey” on your ass, but it’s most likely true. Unless it’s not.

Is there anything else I have to say about you? I hate to jump right into talking about myself, but really now. There’s not much more to say about you. You like ice cream because it’s good. You have some allergies, but they don’t affect your daily life. You are not Amish. I’ve probably just described your entire life in three sentences.

I’m going to cut myself off right now, and save some for later. There’s so much to say, and I could write for 43 straight hours. Seriously.
More soon…